Quotation Wednesday_Thoughts Menu

Once again, I turned to Eat Pray Love - this time a random selection, I've just opened a dog-eared page (and they are MANY) and this is what I've got:

''I can choose my thoughts.''

Another smack on the head. What should I say - have you ever thought THAT possible? Well, it obviously IS possible, though right now it feels like trying to feel relaxed in a most complicated yoga position you take for the very first time after you've spent some months in total immobility (since I've never went too deep into that time-wasting activity, yoga, that is, I don't even know which position it is. I would suggest it has something to do with a dog).

Honestly, I've always had a suspicion that we can control our thoughts at least to a certain degree, though never tried. Laziness, I guess, and unwillingness to give up that little sweet habit so many of us have - feeling sorry for myself. It's like craving chocolate - you know it's not really good for you and barely healthy, but it brings comfort, however dubious. But now it's time to give up chocolate unhealthy thinking, since

''I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.''

THE DAY

Life is complex, we all heard that before. Life is never black and white, we heard that before, too. There are so many shades in between those black and white, you will loose count. But somehow, such statements are just empty words, unless you are standing face to face with reality, that shows you the rainbow, the one between black and white. And you realize, that not all good is good and not all evil is really evil. It all about where you stand when the brick hits you.

March, 11, 2011. Already the numbers 11 look ominous, don't you think? And look what has happened on that day! So much suffering, pain, sorrow. The world will never forget March, 11, 2011.

 I will never forget this day, either. But I will celebrate. No, not because I'm a cinic, but because this day has become the happiest day of my life. The day when everything fell into place, like pieces of a puzzle (and I have never been good at puzzles, let me tell you). The day when my son was born. The day when he finally came out to meet me, to be taken in my arms, to sleep close to me. The day when I could stroke his head not through the taught skin of my belly, but without any barriers between us. The day when he complained about being disturbed in the warm, dark, cosy, if somewhat smallish space he was accomodating the last almost 9 months and being pulled out into cold, bright light. He was not pleased, we all understood that, and he couldn't wait to tell us about it. But the next day – an angel smile. They say the smile of a newborn is nothing else than a reflex, but I don't care. I will always think this smile was FOR ME. Becase he was happy to be finally here, close to me. 

My heart bleeds for all the people who lost their loved ones and their homes on this day. Their lives has changed completely then. My life changed, too, and some things will never be the same.

But I will celebrate this day as a start of a new life, the day my son was born.